Circular Knitting

Today is my knitting group meeting day and for the past few weeks I’ve been doing some circular knitting with this super thin and wispy mohair yarn on really long needles. It’s like knitting with fluffy angel hair pasta. You can barley hold it in your hands and the more you knit the less it feels like you’re moving forward.

Around and around I go in a circle with no real idea of how things will turn out. I did start out with an idea. A pattern in my head of making an infinity scarf, something to make me feel chic, together, you know complete me. So what did I do? I grabbed my yarn, needles and dove in. And now here I knit round and round and round. Each round taking what feels like infinity. How it will turn out or what it will actually be I don’t know. This feels a lot like parenting sometimes. But hey, the yarn sure is pretty.

Best,
Kwana

Smackdown

It seems that I have to deliver a Smackdown at least once a day to somebody in my house and if it’s not one of those days I’ll make it one of those days by delivering the smackdown to myself. I'm always hardest on myself. Now this is Verbal Smackdown that is let me make that clear (don't go writing to me all up in arms). Although the other kind is threatened about here and there too with 16 year old twins. “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out.”

Why so many of these smackdowns or outbursts? There are no smooth sitcom moments in my house. No real moments of discussion and contemplation. Nope. they are only in my head when I do the writer initial set-ups.


Mom: “Honey I was very upset by X. Let’s discuss it.”
Kid rolls eyes but sits down sullenly: “Sorry Mom.”
Mom: “Now what would have been a more appropriate way to handle the situation?”
Kid: “I guess Y. I’ll do better next time.”
Hugs and love all around. Sit down dinner time. "Come and get it!"



Yeah. Um. Not. Think the opposite in reality. A stomp off, a yell and then me with the verbal Smackdown and punishment before an eyebrow is raised. Then everyone is sad and mad and there is the smell of rancid hatred soup in the air. Sort of cabbagey.






In that is why I’m so pissed at all the TV shows I used to love as a kids. The Cosby Show and The Brady Bunch. Man, they can all suck it. We were so not prepared for the Internet and texting and The Freakin Situation.


Best,
Kwana

Winter in Paris

What’s Jack up to? Oh that Jack is trying my last nerve. Yesterday after a workout with my new Shape Up sneakers I decided to reward myself with a nice bath before continuing with my chores and getting ready for the Dear Twins to come home. Well, I ran my bubble bath, closed the door just about all the way, and went about doing some things when I looked and saw Jack acting squirrely. Tossing and flipping like he was trying to dry himself. Well… sigh… that little stinker had jumped into my bath before I could. Can you believe it? I fixed him and a chased him down and gave him a bath for real. Don’t know what’s more work. One little dog or 16 year old twins.

Yeah, I know, it’s the Teen Twins (but Jack is close). They returned home last night tired and happy to see us (Jack the most). Paris was a love, love, love even in the winter (they had a bit of snow). I'm so happy they are back safe and sound. What a joy for us to send them on this trip and to have them return to us.

I will report more soon. Enjoy your day.

Painting of Paris in the Winter by Antoine Blanchard

Best,
Kwana

Thank Heaven

What's Jack up to? Well he was way too happy in the snow yesterday. Rolling around and having a ball. I just could not muster up the same enthusiasm. Sorry Jack I'm just over it now.

The Dear Twins will be home tonight! I've missed them a lot but it's been a good miss and gone by so fast. Quickly we'll all be back to the grind.
In honor of the twins coming home I leave you with this trailer and clip from Gigi with Leslie Caron one of my all time favorite movies that pays homage to gay Paris!







Best,
Kwana

While Paris Sleeps

Today is the twins last full day in Paris. They return home tomorrow night. Yay and sniff. Feeling the need to get as much work done and rest as possible today. That just doesn't mix.

I was looking for a Parisian movie while thinking of the twins, maybe I should not have come across this one. Yikes! A poor girl out of luck and money, but it does look good. I'll have to get it from my library and check the full out.

Have you seen it?

I hope your day is going well.

Best,

Kwana

Happy President's Day

What's Jack up to? Jack is doing well. Missing the Dear Twins but happy to have all the attention of the house to himself. It's all about Jack right now... but really when is it not?

I hope you had a nice Valentine's day. Mine was lovely spent with the DH and seeing him sing in the male choir for Men's day. Here's a pic of my pretty roses that he gave me. What a sweetheart.

In honor of the Dear Twins I'm keeping up with the French theme this week with this pic of our President and First lady on their past visit to France for President's day today.




So far I hear the twins are having a wonderful time, visiting Versailles yesterday one of the most beautiful places on earth in my opinion. They even got to go into more private rooms like the opera house which is not for pubic view and sit. Lucky kids. I'm so glad they are having this experience. Their teachers blog for the parents every night and send us pics to tell about the trip. It looks like a blast. Yesterday there was even a sweet Valentine message video from Versailles.








Happy Presidents day to you. Enjoy!




Best,
Kwana

Sweet Sounds

So I did hear from the Dear Twins. They both called separately yesterday evening Paris time after arriving at the homes of their host families and having dinner. Ahh... dinner in Paris how nice.

I was out since it was afternoon in NY so the DS left a message saying his family was nice and the meal delicious. So like him to think of the meal.

The DD reported the same and told of visiting the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe. She seemed happy and tired from so far away. Even spoke a bit of french. Aww!!

The DH and I are amazed that our babies are so far away and having this experience. Believe me it's a long way from his Georgia and my Harlem roots.

I'm wishing you all a Happy Valentine's Weekend. I hope it's filled with love.

With All Our Love,

Kwana & Jack

P.S. The winner of the Cara Elliot giveaway is Lenore of Lenorevermore! Congrats. If you have not been to Lenore's blog get over there quick. Believe me you won't be disappointed with all the fab going on

Go Here.

Paris Has My Heart

What's Jack up to? He's wondering where the Dear Twins have gotten to right about now. Spent lots of time on top of the couch and watching the window yesterday. I'm sure right now he's like what the heck is up and where are they? Sorry Jack.

Bonjour! The Dear Twins got off to Paris yesterday evening and I'm trying hard not to worry too much while waiting for scattered calls. I'm hoping all goes well when they meet their generous host families and they find their ways around ok.

Hey, maybe they'll be like these kids here, rocking it along the Seine.

You'll be glad to hear I fought hard and won the battle of the tears when the bus was pulling away from the school (I didn't want to embarrass them too much).

But I did get in an extra hug or two. I just had to.

Best,

Kwana

photo from Art.com

Smart Snow Dog

So what about all that snow the east coast got socked with huh? Just what we didn’t need and the dear twins are supposed to head for Paris today with their French group. I sure hope all goes off on time and well. Please send good bloggy vibes their way.

Yesterday the family headed out to brave the snow and do some shoveling and cleaning of the cars.




Jack wasn’t all that thrilled with the idea and had to seriously consider stepping off the porch.






Once he did he got into the swing of things for a bit, that is until the DH opened the car door for a moment and like a shot Jack was gone.




Into the sanctuary of the warm car. Leaving us outside to clean up on our own. Smart dog.

Best,
Kwana

P.S. There is still time to enter the Cara Elliot Sin with a Scoundrel giveaway from yesterday's post below.

Little House

This sweet little house that is on a neighbor's front yard is just coming out from under the snow and it looks like we're in for a bunch more come tonight. Sigh.

I hope the forecast is wrong since I'm as busy as all get out getting the dear twins ready for a school trip to Paris later in the week. Yep, that Paris. I'm trying to keep myself sane and not worry too much since they have never been out of the country or on vacation without me so yes, I wish I were going too to keep an eye out and hey, It's Paris. Why wouldn't I want to go?

What are you up to? Is it snow are sun in your forecast?

Best,

Kwana

Surrender

Surrender : transitive verb 1 a : to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand b : to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another

2 a : to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner b : to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

Some days you just want to throw your hands up and not in a joyful way, but in a way of frustration, in an act of defeat. The day can be going along smoothly and all it takes is one thing, a rock in the road to trip you up and take you off course, causing you to take your eyes off the horizon and your ultimate joy and you want to surrender. To give up, to say fine I’m done, have at it world, take all I’ve got.

But then you realize that there are some things you can’t do that with. Some instances where you can’t surrender or your stubborn mother’s heart just won’t let you. Because when it comes to your children is there really ever any surrender? Not as long as there is hope, love, fight and breath.

So you grit your teeth and hang in for the fight. Throwing up your hands and clinching them into fists at the rest of the world if you have to because the only act of Surrender when it comes to your children, in your heart and mind, is the Surrendering to the will of God. Nothing less will do.

Best,
Kwana

Playing My Position

What's Jack up to? Jack's doing just fine. Getting into bits of trouble here and there but that's just Jack so what's more to say? Happy Monday!



I made it through the Gaga weekend. Though by DD and her friends did lots of fretting over what they were going to wear I decided to play my position and go as, well, me The 40 Year Old Mother in jeans, an olive draped sweater, and my comfy Uggs. Yes, I said it Uggs. Ga-Ga indeed. But my feet didn't hurt. Lordy I am getting old.

But, I've had my days of dress-up and fun way back in the day. Saturday night I was just there to fade in the background and keep and eye on things, make sure the girls weren't snatched up or anything.


Of course I enjoyed the show while I was trying to fade. I did my share of head bobbing and danced a bit when I could sneaked it in without a dirty look sent my way. I particularly liked the opening act, a glam rock band called Semi Precious Weapons that my DD told me I was too old to like as much as I did. Sigh. Whatever. (insert eye roll here)

Here was my tweet on the subject. I was having fun but am afraid the girls were corrupted:

Lead singer just stripped and changed on stage I'm afraid girls are changed forever same as me with Prince the first time. 6:47 PM Jan 23rd from web

Lady Gaga put in a great show. I have to say I liked her before but really like her even more now. She has so much talent and energy and knows how to use it to her advantage. Am I a little monster? Maybe.




All in all a good time, though I could have done without the drinks being thrown down from me from overhead. I'm wayyyy to old for that crap.




Here is a little Semi Precious Weapons for you if you can deal. ***Warning explicit lyrics.*** Not for the faint of heart. Have fun.





Best,
Kwana

Bad Romance

Here's a hint at my planned evening tonight with some 16 year olds. Wish me luck.



Best,
Kwana

Friday Musings

I can’t believe it’s Friday already. ALREADY!! Yeesh. Slow it down there Nelly!

Oh well. The week has flown and I feel I’ve gotten much of nothing done but have been so busy. Yeah, I’m sure there were a few things thrown in here and there, but for the life of me I can’t place them.

Just for fun I’ll share a pic of the Dear Twins birthday cake from their party last week. I decided to embarrass them once more and use the blog pics on their cake. I think it came out so cute and it was delish too. I still can't believe I have 16 year olds but all the teen drama tells me it is so. Sigh.

In other ramblings... are you watching Project Runway? I am but have the hardest time remembering it’s on Lifetime now. It’s so hard to break a habit. Hey, don’t my hips know it?
I thought Amy, Jay and Anthony rocked it this week and to me Amy made that burlap beautiful.

Best,
Kwana

Sweet 16

While I was sleeping you grew up, seemingly overnight

While I was blinking you grew older and time just passed me by

I don’t know how this happened that 16 years has passed

It really can’t be true

But the calendar says so, thou my heart it fights and says no
I have to give in and face the truth

Happy Birthday my Dear Babies, I will hold on to that right

To call you my Dear Babies with all of my might

You will always be my Dear Babies

Whether you are 16 or 60

Because you are the dearest things in the word forever and always to me

Love,
Mom

Warm Me Up

Happy Friday peeps! It's supposed to be another cold one today and snow too. My kids are wishing with all their might for a snow day and I spent the better part of the evening explaining that doing homework was a a safer bet since I'm praying there is no snow day. Ah, the wish/prayer weather counter clash.

Either way I wish I had this coat to warm me up. Doesn't she look wonderful. I hope it's warm where you are. I'm about tired of freezing.

Pic from the Satorialist

And thanks for your sweet comments on the My Space feature yesterday. You all warm me considerably.



Best,
Kwana

UPDATE: 2 hour school snow delay so both win I guess.

Harlem Heights

The other day I was in Harlem over at Nana's house hanging with her for a bit when I looked out the kitchen window and was struck by the beauty of the view of the back park and the turning of the leaves. This is the same 15th floor view that I grew up with so I've seen it all my life but it's been quite a while since I really looked at it.



On this rainy day I remembered being a kid and always in awe over how Nana could yell so clearly from so hi up and make her voice carry that far down to tell me it was time to come in. Her voice one of so many woman with their eyes peering keeping careful watch of the children in their care. Playtime over. Must come in before the streetlights come one. Besides dinner's ready and we're hungry. The old back park has been remolded a few times over since I was a kid playing kick the can, but the heart of it is still the same I'd guess. Well at least I hope.



Best,
Kwana

Me Time

What's Jack up to? Jack's chilling after a fine weekend and being Just Jack. After a pretty dreary Saturday the sun came out on Sunday and Jack out in nice long walk with his buddy Bentley then just chilled and chilled some more. Oh the life.

I had an odd weekend. Not odd really, but odd for me. Got to steal a little time for myself which is so very necessary to my sanity every once in a while.

I found myself alone (well not quite, there were 2 other in need of peace moms there) in the movies. I was doing a little mom therapy and seeing Whip It which I just loved and highly recommend. A total girl power movie with tons of coolness and a rocking soundtrack. It also has the added bonus of being sweet as pie.

Then I ended up on the West Side going to celebrate a friends B-day. Man there are lots of much younger peeps out having loads of fun at all hours. I'd almost forgotten that world. But still I adore NYC at night. It's so in my blood, so home.

How was your weekend? Did you get in any U time?

Best,

Kwana

Multi-Multi Tasking

What's Jack up to? Jack is being Jack. A little bossy, a little cute, so very Jack. Keeping me on my toes.

It's early Monday, well, late Sunday night as I'm writing this and already I'm overwhelmed with the family schedule this week. Not just this week, this year really. As women we are the keepers of the schedules. Ours and everyone else's. Annoyingly, I found myself taking unnecessarily drives this weekend to classes that didn't happen because I didn't have a teen's schedule memorized in my head. Not that said teen should not have had their own schedule down. Sigh.

To make things just that more nutty, I'm already thinking ahead to the new year. January and February. So much so that the beautiful months of October and November are getting lost in the shuffle as just pages I'm flipping on the calender.

And in all of this I'm terribly afraid of dropping the ball. That my whole house of cards will come tumbling down from all my multi-tasking.

Knock Knock. Is it just me knocking at this door? Think I need a cup of tea and a moment to think about this.

Beware Of Multitasking - Robyn Pearce Time Management Expert on Howcast

Oh and thanks to Prof Melissa Harris-Lacewell on twitter for pointing me in the direction of this article from The Huffington Post on the ever growing unhappiness of women and and multi-tasking. A longtime sign of the times.

Best,
Kwana

Oh Juniors!

What’s Jack up to? My little Jack will be one confused dog today. No doubt, pacing back and forth barking at everyone that dares to pass by our little house as he looks for the teen twins that have left him this morning.

Yep, it’s the first day of school today. No doubt I’ll have embarrassed the teen twins and taken the first day of school picture on the porch.

The first day of junior year. Wow. That is so unbelievable to me. Just thinking about it puts a weight on my chest. Once again I want to pull out that STOP sign. There must be a trick being played on me. Time really can’t be going this fast. My children can’t be this age. Not these babies that I used to be able to hold both in one arm. Now, well, now I’m lucky if I can hold onto a conversation with them for longer than a few moments. Sigh.

Lord, where? How? It’s seems I’m a mother grasping. Trying to grab a bit of the past as they run chasing after the future as fast as they can. They will get their future. It’s coming. So so quick, I know, but they don’t know quicker than they need.

But I get a bit of the past too. In the ever so brief hug when you think I’m joking as I grab you and say, I love you while laughing as you try and run by. Or after the terrible fight as I hold you to my breast and still say I love you and smell your hair it's still the same. You see the past is still there. You are still my babies. Deep down always.

Oh my Juniors. Do well. Much love, Mom.





Best,
Kwana