Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Smackdown

It seems that I have to deliver a Smackdown at least once a day to somebody in my house and if it’s not one of those days I’ll make it one of those days by delivering the smackdown to myself. I'm always hardest on myself. Now this is Verbal Smackdown that is let me make that clear (don't go writing to me all up in arms). Although the other kind is threatened about here and there too with 16 year old twins. “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out.”

Why so many of these smackdowns or outbursts? There are no smooth sitcom moments in my house. No real moments of discussion and contemplation. Nope. they are only in my head when I do the writer initial set-ups.


Mom: “Honey I was very upset by X. Let’s discuss it.”
Kid rolls eyes but sits down sullenly: “Sorry Mom.”
Mom: “Now what would have been a more appropriate way to handle the situation?”
Kid: “I guess Y. I’ll do better next time.”
Hugs and love all around. Sit down dinner time. "Come and get it!"



Yeah. Um. Not. Think the opposite in reality. A stomp off, a yell and then me with the verbal Smackdown and punishment before an eyebrow is raised. Then everyone is sad and mad and there is the smell of rancid hatred soup in the air. Sort of cabbagey.






In that is why I’m so pissed at all the TV shows I used to love as a kids. The Cosby Show and The Brady Bunch. Man, they can all suck it. We were so not prepared for the Internet and texting and The Freakin Situation.


Best,
Kwana

13 comments:

Tonya Kappes said...

Really! You crack me up!! To me, when I watched the Cosby show or the Brady Bunch, I was younger and the issues that having a family (four boys= 16, 13 twins, 11) didn't even cross my mind.
NOW!! They wear me OUT! I do you the famous Cosby line 'I brought you in this world. I can take you out.' I usually get a big ole' laugh from them...but your right. Today shows aren't the same. My kids do love the oldies though and we have fun watching them together. Thankfully we have TV Land.

Tina Steele Lindsey said...

I loved those shows and it was pretty much like that at my house. No talk-back was ever tolerated, simply discussion and the bottom line is the kids rarely won. It works like magic, we all know, to a point in time where that systems no longer works. Patience truly is a virtue. If it is any consolation, it swings back around at some point.

Tina Steele Lindsey said...

~actually I meant back-talk though essentially it is all the same no matter how you type it!

pve design said...

My boys have a "virtual" pretend smackdown like puppies - now what I want to know is what Jack thinks about all this? Bentley barks at the slightest hug!
pve

Joyce said...

Kwana I know you wouldn't appreciate my giggles on the sideline, but you are a hoot. TV sure isn't like the old days. xo

Ina in Alaska said...

Our 5 kids grew up and moved on just at the point when cell phones and texting began. Ron and I often say to each other we are SO GLAD we are no longer parenting teens today. So many temptations and challenges for teens today and as a parent I am sure it is almost impossible to keep up these days. You have my prayers, Kwana... xoxo

N said...

I'll simply add my favorite childhood smackdown threat - which is not mine but my husband's - and very hard to believe that it comes from my elegant MIL. "If you don't stop that right now I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you with it!"

Goes to show you we all have our breaking points. :-) hang in there!

ArchitectDesign™ said...

haha -yes...times have changed! I always think of 'the view' when I think of smackdowns -between all of the ladies, especially Whoopi (or Joy) placing the smackdown on Elizabeth!

Frau said...

Full moon or just teenagers! I had a sit down with my teen yesterday. I think we are all sick of winter and just need some sun.

Kwana said...

Thanks for all the comment and glad to not be alone and give a laugh.

Redbonegirl97 said...

Every now and then I have to bust down my kids. They say something that requires a neck snap and then I have to retaliate. When it's a smack to the back of the head or a shoe sailing through the air, I shall have my revenge, lol.

Tiffany
http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com

The Zhush said...

HA! This was great, as a fellow:
1. Mom to three children
2. Raised on corny sitcoms
3. Current addict of awful "reality shows"...(not proud of this, but its the truth!)
Packing up 3 children for a family vacation today was no picnic over here! Thanks for the much needed levity!

Legallyblondemel said...

With two 16-year-olds in the house, I'd wonder if there weren't multiple Verbal Smackdowns on a daily basis in your house.

I vividly recall Bill Cosby delivering the "I brought you into this world ..." line way back when - really is the perfect parent line (as much as a lot about that & similar shows were unrealistic).

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