Tuesday, July 15, 2008


What's Jack up to? Jack is up and raring for the day. Already ready for fun and play pulling out toys and hopping around. I have to take a drive to pick up the DD who has been away for a week. I think I'll take Jack with me for a nice surprise. I hope he doesn't drive me batty on the way.

For quite a while now I have been a fan of the blog: Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. Her photography just takes my breath away and the way she describes life on the ranch with Marlboro Man, sigh. If you have not read her. Please check her out here. Recently she did a post that got over 1500 comments which is pretty normal for Pioneer Woman. The post was called Changes in Plans.

my own bit of photography from the recent fair on a rainy day

As a writer and mother and woman of a certain age the question she asked really touched me as well as all the responses and got. They were so interesting so I thought I'd post the same question here.

How similar is your life to how you imagined it ten or twenty years ago? Is it how you thought it would be or are you constantly asking yourself how did I get here? Do you mourn for the unfulfilled dreams? (Pioneer Woman said unrealized plans) or are you happy no matter what the circumstances?

I'll start. I would have never thought I'd be where I am today or doing what I'm doing today, although somewhere in the back of my mind I guess the dream of being a writer was always there. But really twenty years ago I'd imagined myself today still being a designer probably with my own label, living in the city, maybe with one small child, maybe on husband number 2 maybe not. LOL. But living a life filled with fashion, meetings, wine, coffee, travel and more fashion. Oh and I'd be way skinnier.

But life sends you curves and mine came in the form of 2 eggs fertilized and suddenly that life didn't feel as important. So other, older dreams came into focus. The writing dream and the new dream of how I could find a way to work and be there for my 2 eggs all the time. Sure, I still wanted the wine, coffee and the success but the travel no longer held the same appeal. So here I am happy in my changes, but like my current manuscript still very much a WIP.

Okay, I'm on a mission. I really want to see some comments. This is a writing experiment so pass this on to all your friends and tell them inquiring minds want to know. Are they happy with life's changes?




pve design said...

Embrace each change and live life to the fullest.
Follow your dreams, I am here cheering you on before and after the eggs~ Remember not to put all your eggs in one basket....wonder where that saying came from? I do love that pioneer woman.

Alexis Jacobs said...

This is a very good post. Really gets ones mind thinking. Is my life what I thought it would be 20 years ago? Well probably not since I was only 13 and thought 33 was ancient. But seriously, I never thought I would be a 33 year old SAHM/freelance writer, living in North Carolina, mother of three kids. I never thought I would have to bury child and have to pick up the pieces of my life and go on. I never thought I would marry a man and love him as much as I do. I never thought that staying home with my kids would be as important to me as it is.

So is my life what I imagined it? No. Is that a bad thing? Not really.

PS: I love Pioneer Woman too :)

The (Mis)Adventures of a Single City Chick said...

I admit I definitely figured I'd be in a different "place" in my life by now. Twenty years ago, I assumed by age 30 I'd be married and have a child or two. Welllllllll, heh, heh...I'm, er, "past" thirty by several years, never been married and thusly, no children. I am, however, favorite auntie to one niece and three nephews, who I admit adore me. Hey, I've worked hard for that adoration. LOL! I never really wondered about what my career would be, but I didn't think I'd have finished ten novels by now. I wasn't even considering writing my first, yet. Like most everyone else, there are experiences that I would love to go back and erase, but aside from that, and aside from not being where I imagined I would, I am a happy person. :-) I like to believe that everything happens for a reason (whether we immediately understand what that reason is or not), and we can make the best lives out of nearly any circumstances. It's all about the attitude. :-)

Lisa said...

Ten years ago--hm, it's hard to recall that long ago. I know I was thinking I would be 'settled,' whatever that is, by the time I was the age I am now. Guess what? I still don't feel like an adult, and I still feel like I'm moving forward on a journey. I didn't think, ten years ago, that I'd want to be a writer, I wasn't writing then. I didn't think I'd love being a stay-at-home mom, nor that I'd have a whole new range of good friends (Kwana!) who support me and have my back each and every day.

And I'm probably a few pounds skinnier now, which is cool, although I still want to get thinner. This summer has been quite a beery one.

Natalie Hatch said...

20 years ago I was finishing High School with no idea what I was going to be doing down the track. I experienced heartache and joy along the way though and have learned from each what I needed to get me to this point. Did I think I would be a writer? Nope, never, that was just a hobby. Did I think I would have twins? No, but I do and after having wonderful session of cuddles and cuteness this morning I'm glad I have. (Yeah I know, wait until they're teens...)

Marley Gibson said...

Well, when I came out of college, I was deeply embroiled in politics. I worked for a congressman on Capitol Hill and all I cared about was eventually working for a candidate who would win the White House and I'd work there. However, after a few years in DC and being involved up to our eyelids and seeing that there was no money (then, don't know about now) in working for the government, I burned out and hung up my civil servant hat. I never saw myself working in marketing and events for 20 years, let alone having published books and more coming out. Everything happens for a reason...and all of our experiences just help shape us to be the person we are meant to be.

= )

Kwana said...

This is wonderful. I'm so happy people are sharing. Keep the comments coming!

Kristen Painter said...

Well, to start with I always figured I'd get married at 27. Didn't. Got married at 22 (mistake) instead. That's just the bad stuff. It's all uphill from there.

Hotrod is a fantabulous husband. My life is grand. I get to travel (more than I like sometimes), and work as a full time writer.

That's the other cool part. I'm a writer. With an agent. Did I think that's where I'd be at this point in my life? No, but I think it's better than what I dreamed. I think if my 11-year-old story-writing-self had known about agents, that would have been part of the dream.

Life is really, really good.

N said...

Awesome post, Kwana.
I have to check out that blog.

20 years ago, my current life would have been completely alien in concept; 10 years ago, simply unexpected. Evolution? Perhaps.

I think I always felt a little left of center...not politically, but just when it came to comparing myself to the rest of the world at large. So coming to a "normal" place is kind of weird, in a good way.

Like others, and you, have said, kids changed it all. For the better, which I never would have predicted. There is so much more love in my life now, than I ever would have guessed.

I figured I'd have a crazy-ass ad-gal job still in Manhattan, live in the city (with probably one child), and be a lot less of a homebody; now I'm pretty ok with being a homebody. Unless of course I can take my loved ones with me...then bring on the adventure.

Gosh, this is like therapy. I'm going to stop now before you send a shrink down the block.

Red River Interiors: said...

Glad you reminded me of the pioneer woman...what I can say about where I am and where I thought I would be is...I've learned to be content in all things. Having lived through my 20's on the west coast and 40's on the east I love the place and space I'm in. I still have dreams...big ones. Not just for myself but my son and husband, nieces and nephews. I appreciate every day and look forward to new experiences...I've recreated myself a few times and I've learned to love change....care deeply about people and look forward to what's next...Never thought Id be a blogger, love it, and the written word...Life is good and getting better.

Ellen Gerstein said...

Great post Kwana. It's funny how life takes you places you never thought you would be. I figured by now I'd be living alone in a small studio in NYC with many cats. But life didn't have that in mind for me, which is good, because I'm allergic to cats.

MariaGeraci said...

Boy, you really got me thinking this morning:)

I guess I thought by this time in my life I'd be way smarter. Smarter about life, about money, about people. Career wise, I never dreamed of being a writer. At least not consciously. But I've always been a storyteller, so it does seem logical that the writing would have happened.

Although my younger self would have envisioned a much more glamorous life than I'm living, I can't complain. I have a wonderful husband, 3 healthy children, great friends and a potentially fabulous career ahead. I think maybe I'm even more blessed than I could have ever imagined.

Kwana said...

Yay, the comments are still coming. Thanks Kristen, N, Red River, Ellen and Maria! Lets keep going. I love this! So much to think about.

Jaci Burton said...

No way is this where I thought I'd be. On my second marriage, on my second career. Twenty years ago I was sure I knew what I wanted to do with my life. And it's not at all what I'm doing now, yet I've never been more fulfilled.

Life changes, and our desires and needs along with it.

Great post Kwana!

azteclady said...

Hello, Kwana--I followed Jaci here *grin*

What a thought provoking post indeed!

Let me see...

My life is nothing what I ever thought it would be--though I confess I've never been much of a planner, so any image I had of myself was vague :grin:

On the one hand, that makes it easier to adapt to changes in course. On the other, it lends itself to asking--sometimes out loud, and completely bewildered--what on earth was I smoking when I decided to do that? :wink:

On the main, I'm happy, though. I think that given the circumstances, I've done well with my life so far. And who knows? There's still plenty beyond the hill, after that curve in the road...

Maureen McGowan said...

20 years ago I was just starting a completely different career and where I am now -- even where I was most of the time in between then and now -- bears no relationship to where I thought I'd be. No, where I was SURE I'd be. I thought I'd be a partner in a big accounting firm. Corner office. Raking in the big bucks. Married. Some kids. I have none of those things.

But in my case, I think this is a good thing. I was too risk averse to even consider a career in the arts and now after years of fighting for something I never really wanted and it nearly killing me... I've finally ended up in the arts. Closer to my childhood dreams which were way more than 20 years ago. Yay me.

mommythe said...

oh kwana. this is such a good question. however, im not sure im at a point where i can answer this, you know. its still all premature for me and i still need to GET THERE before i let go and breathe.

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